Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
