It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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