so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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