i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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