Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
