I must be too annoying 4 u.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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