I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
