didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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