Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
