she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
