you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
