I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
