Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
