direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
