Your tits are I can't wait for
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize