I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
These tits shall not be calmed
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