I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
