I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
