Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
