could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
