worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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