if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize