guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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