Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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