In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize