remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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