so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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