Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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