# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
