her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize