He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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