I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
