i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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