but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
