Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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