I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
