thus making me awesome and them whores
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
