I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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