does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
