a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My pussy is not your playground.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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