Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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