I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
