he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize