ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
