I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
