I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
