Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
