Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
