i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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