You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
