Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
