I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize