i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize