STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
