We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
