alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
