Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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