You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am midnight drunk by noon
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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