i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
