Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
