Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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